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Author Topic: Bruce The Moose ~ Christmas song ~ Lyrics Only.  (Read 6119 times)

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Offline YrralMallik

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Re: Bruce The Moose ~ Christmas song ~ Lyrics Only.
« Reply #15 on: February 03, 2014, 12:34:59 PM »
Hi Larry,

Hee hee -- A Christmas Moose -- this is cute! 

I'd suggest that, in the first verse or two, you say that the Moose may be able to help because of his great strength.  You mention it in verse 3, but since it's such an integral part of the story, I thought it should have more prominence!

For the "ugly creature" -- I think you should soften that to something like, "some say he's an ugly creature." There will, no doubt, be kids who will argue the point that a moose is NOT ugly, and then the parent can point out that it says, "SOME SAY" -- not that he's definitively ugly! 

Also, instead of "usually travels by himself" -- maybe "sometimes travels by himself."  Because, I think, he's usually with Santa!

(~;Yrral Mallik;~)